Thursday, July 15, 2010

To Weave or Not to Weave?

I recently discovered my hair stylist has been certified in hair weaving. I asked her how it worked exactly -- did they use glue, or was the fake hair actually weaved (basket-style) into the real hair? She said, "We have a weaving machine." And I asked no more.

Now, I'm not up on my hair technology, but I wasn't aware that a weaving machine existed. Much like the weather machine in the GI Joe movie, it just seems like this is too much technology to be in the hands of Man. A weaving machine? That could make any person drunk with power. With this weaving machine revelation, I was both repulsed and intrigued. I saw a few heads of hair in the salon that had been weave-machined, and I gotta say...they looked pretty damn good.

So the question is -- should I get a hair weave for my wedding day? I don't really want to make my hair any longer, but fuller? Hell yeah! Let's face it, every celebrity and/or lucky little rich bitch has fake hair. Whether it be a weave, or a wig, or added pieces, there is something fake on every head of hair in Hollywood. And they* all look good! (*Sans Kristen Stewart in Eclipse, her wig just didn't look right.) But I don't know; it just feels so risky. Getting a weave feels like you are entering a secret world where you've gotta be invited first. Like an old-time speakeasy where you whisper the password through the door slot, "Horse hair" and then Snookie from The Jersey Shore lets you in.

Plus, I just watched the latest episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and I don't want some crazy 18-year-old yanking out a chunk of my hair weave. Nooooooo, thank you. I don't really think someone would actually try to yank out my hair weave on my wedding day, but you never know. I've seen Bridezillas, and sometimes the shit goes down.

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