Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Orange Panties or a Girdle?

I was just at a department store at MacArthur Mall trying on white cocktail dresses for my wedding day weekend. They were all at ridiculously low prices because (I'm assuming) Labor Day is coming up and you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day. I guess they gotta drop their white dress inventory stat! I tried on this one dress and it was so tight, and there was so much ruching, that I looked like a blonde version of Snooki. Like seriously, the dress was so tight that I almost threw my back out trying to get it over my head. When I finally got it over my body, my hair was so messed up, I had like a comb-over/poof thing going. I looked like a sausage. Literally a Snooki sausage. I didn't buy it. But that's not the important thing.

The important thing is that in the dressing room next to me, I could hear this one lady talking to her friend and she was really unsure about the dress she had tried on. Apparently, it was for a wedding too, but she was going to be a guest. She kept asking, "Is it too tight right here?" And her friend would never answer her. She would ask if the dress made her look fat, and the friend would respond, "Do you have a bra that will work for this?" And they had this entire discussion about whether or not she should wear orange panties or a girdle? They went back and forth on that forever, "orange panties or a girdle?" They couldn't decide which would be best. What the hell sort of situation was there with the dress that it could either be solved with orange panties OR a girdle, but not both? And they never resolved the orange panties/girdle dilemma. They walked out of the dressing room to do some further investigating and I tried so hard to peek at them through the slotted doors, but alas...I couldn't! I'll never know.

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