Thursday, August 12, 2010

Reality TV Round-up: Thursday Edition

I didn't catch too much TV tonight because I watched Gangs of New York on DVD, but only Disc 1 (Thanks Netflix). Man, I knew that they were going to end Disc 1 during the sex scene. Sure enough! I'm completely transfixed by Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz smacking each other around (Rhett & Scarlett sexy-style, not Tina and Ike-style), then they start smooching, then Leo picks Cameron up, and....BAM...end of Disc 1. Screw you Martin Scorsese. And screw you Netflix, send both discs at the same time!!!!!!!

The Jersey Shore: Angelina smacked Pauly D in the face 3 times (I'll acknowledge that 1 was an actual smack, the other 2 were more like drunken smears than a smack) and then looked at Pauly D and denied hitting him, not two minutes after just hitting him. I can totally identify with Pauly D and The Situation's frustration with Angelina's drunken amnesia. I once partied with some kids and everybody was way drunker than me (never fun). This one particular drunk girl went into house (not her house) and discovered a small pile of poop on the ground from the owner's new puppy. For whatever reason, she fell on the ground and then rolled around in the poop, smearing it everywhere. Then she ransacked the fridge Godzilla-style, not actually eating anything, just hitting everything and knocking stuff over. Then she passed out on the couch covered in puppy poop, and started her period...leaving a blood stain. I come in the house, kinda sober, discover the poop kitchen/Godzilla fridge/period couch mayhem and alert the others. I get this reaction...

Nameless Drunk: Whaaaaaaat are you talking about Lazy? There'z no poop. You crazy! Shuuuuut up.
Me: You don't see all this poop that's smeared everywhere? There is dog poop smashed all over the floor!
Nameless Drunk: Laaaazy, you druuuuuunky.

The next morning, I see Nameless Drunk's roommate who was asleep during the party and he came up to me and said this...

Sober Befuddled Roommate: What the hell happened last night? I came downstairs and there was shit smeared all over the kitchen?!?!

I wanted to hug him, just for validating my sanity.

But in summation of tonight's episode of Jersey Shore...they got drunk, they creeped, grenades, more drunk, gelato, I love Pauly D.

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