Me and my parents got into a very long "discussion" while at Lowe's on Sunday. My dad has a blue all-purpose tub, which looks like the one above. For the wedding reception, we're planning on filling this tub with ice and an assortment of refreshing non-alcoholic beverages including, but not limited to, soda pop, bottled water, juice boxes, and Yoo-Hoo. This tub would be for the reception, and would be located on the deck of the beachouse. My dad already owns this tub. It's a part of the family. It's free and already booked for the wedding.
Me, ever the considerate hostess, was wanting to purchase a second all-purpose tub to place directly on the beach so that BEFORE the wedding, guests could grab a bottled water, while they were waiting for the ceremony to begin. This is to prevent guests from getting too parched and/or dehydrated (READ: Thirsty). They have all-purpose tubs available at Lowe's. They are $7.
This is where things got dicey. Neither one of my parents wanted me to buy this tub. The following account is a paraphrase of the "discussion" that took place in the garden center of Lowe's.
Mom's Proposal: Why don't you just put your dad's tub on the edge of the deck so that it's closer to the ceremony site? People will walk by and they'll grab a drink if they want one.
My Counter-Argument: No, I don't think most people will just grab a drink if it's on the deck. They'll be polite and think it's for the reception.
Mom's Counter Idea to My Counter-Argument: Then have the tub on the beach during the ceremony and then move it on the deck for the reception.
My Counter to the Counter: No, it will be too heavy.
Dad's Expert Opinion: Yeah, it'll be too heavy.
Mom's Second Proposal: Why don't we put the tub of bottled water and ice on the beach for the ceremony, then after the ceremony dump out the ice on the beach, so it won't be so heavy to move it.
My Second Counter-Argument to the Second Proposal: Then you'll have to take out all the water that didn't get drank, dump the ice on the sand, move the tub, then re-fill it with new ice and more drinks. That's a lot of work.
Mom's Third Proposal: Let's use one of your dad's little coolers then. They're small enough to carry on the sand.
My Counter-Argument to the Third Proposal: That's ghetto.
Dad's Proposal: This might sound wild. (UH OH!) But what if I bring my wheelbarrow, cover the basin with plastic, fill it with ice and water, and then just wheel it on to the beach.
My Counter: You're gonna load that heavy wheelbarrow into your truck, and then drive it all the way to Sandbridge and then wheel it in the sand!?!
Dad's Counter to My Counter: It's got a big giant tire, it won't get stuck.
My Proposal: Why don't I just get the tub...it's $7.
Dad Closing Arguments: Fine, get the tub then.
So, I got the tub. It was $7.
This might seem like a small moment in a series of numerous small moments in planning this wedding. And, I'm pretty sure that my parents still disagree with me about buying the $7 tub. But, to all the men in my family and in Steven's family -- there is going to be a point between our wedding ceremony and reception, where you are going to be moving around a lot of shit (i.e. chairs, tables, kegs, archways) and you'll feel very tired, and be in a moderate amount of pain. In that moment, I want you to look down at this $7 purple tub, that will be filled with an assortment of refreshing non-alcoholic beverages. I want you to look down at this tub, sitting comfortably on the beach and think, "Thank God, I don't have to move that freaking heavy ass tub too!"
And then I will have won.
Me, ever the considerate hostess, was wanting to purchase a second all-purpose tub to place directly on the beach so that BEFORE the wedding, guests could grab a bottled water, while they were waiting for the ceremony to begin. This is to prevent guests from getting too parched and/or dehydrated (READ: Thirsty). They have all-purpose tubs available at Lowe's. They are $7.
This is where things got dicey. Neither one of my parents wanted me to buy this tub. The following account is a paraphrase of the "discussion" that took place in the garden center of Lowe's.
Mom's Proposal: Why don't you just put your dad's tub on the edge of the deck so that it's closer to the ceremony site? People will walk by and they'll grab a drink if they want one.
My Counter-Argument: No, I don't think most people will just grab a drink if it's on the deck. They'll be polite and think it's for the reception.
Mom's Counter Idea to My Counter-Argument: Then have the tub on the beach during the ceremony and then move it on the deck for the reception.
My Counter to the Counter: No, it will be too heavy.
Dad's Expert Opinion: Yeah, it'll be too heavy.
Mom's Second Proposal: Why don't we put the tub of bottled water and ice on the beach for the ceremony, then after the ceremony dump out the ice on the beach, so it won't be so heavy to move it.
My Second Counter-Argument to the Second Proposal: Then you'll have to take out all the water that didn't get drank, dump the ice on the sand, move the tub, then re-fill it with new ice and more drinks. That's a lot of work.
Mom's Third Proposal: Let's use one of your dad's little coolers then. They're small enough to carry on the sand.
My Counter-Argument to the Third Proposal: That's ghetto.
Dad's Proposal: This might sound wild. (UH OH!) But what if I bring my wheelbarrow, cover the basin with plastic, fill it with ice and water, and then just wheel it on to the beach.
My Counter: You're gonna load that heavy wheelbarrow into your truck, and then drive it all the way to Sandbridge and then wheel it in the sand!?!
Dad's Counter to My Counter: It's got a big giant tire, it won't get stuck.
My Proposal: Why don't I just get the tub...it's $7.
Dad Closing Arguments: Fine, get the tub then.
So, I got the tub. It was $7.
This might seem like a small moment in a series of numerous small moments in planning this wedding. And, I'm pretty sure that my parents still disagree with me about buying the $7 tub. But, to all the men in my family and in Steven's family -- there is going to be a point between our wedding ceremony and reception, where you are going to be moving around a lot of shit (i.e. chairs, tables, kegs, archways) and you'll feel very tired, and be in a moderate amount of pain. In that moment, I want you to look down at this $7 purple tub, that will be filled with an assortment of refreshing non-alcoholic beverages. I want you to look down at this tub, sitting comfortably on the beach and think, "Thank God, I don't have to move that freaking heavy ass tub too!"
And then I will have won.
Where will the tub with alcoholic beverages be? Just in case????
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